Awful Reviews for a Bad Marriage

After a night of confusion, I found myself in a flash marriage with Michael Garrett, a big shot in Capital City.
In public, he was dignified, aloof, and seemingly dispassionate.
In private, he tore through one of my nightgowns every night.
On our first wedding anniversary, the girl Michael once liked suddenly divorced and returned to the country.
That night, for the first time since our marriage, he didn't come home.
That night, the woman he liked said, 'If she's even a fraction like me, she should consider herself lucky.'
That night, I sat wide awake in our marital bed until dawn.
The next day, I mailed him my wedding band and the divorce settlement.
I also left a sticky note:
'Your skills are actually terrible.'
'I give you a bad review, Michael Garrett. I want a refund.'